These wars are like a demon, a cancer if you will that eats away at the soul of every person involved. It will consume your entire being without a care, it will leave you hollow inside as you desensitize yourself. You begin to question your beliefs and even your faith. The more I deploy the more difficult and almost impossible I find it to adjust to what most people refer to as “normal life”. This cancer is so entrenched in my being that I wonder if I will ever live a normal life. Most people won’t understand, it’s complex and difficult for most. I don’t fully expect them to understand, they haven’t walked in my shoes. For the past nine years my life has been a roller coaster that has revolved around these wars, I pray that I will have the chance to decompress and deal with the aftermath, the anger, the hurt, and the damage to my soul that these wars have caused. As I continue to serve and the possibility of another deployment looms, it’s doubtful that my peace will come any time soon. Don't get this confused. I Love my country, and the principals that it was originally founded upon. I am and always will be proud of my service.