During our 2004 Iraq mortality survey, my very measured physician colleague returned with a data form stating in one house two children died of fear. I probed for details. Thinking I doubted him, he insisted fear really was the cause of death. He had visited the bedroom where the two children were huddled together. It was night when they died, many bombs were reportedly dropped by the Americans on their town; one landed on an adjacent house. There was no sign of damage in the room. Unfortunately, I found it completely believable, I had encountered this twice before. Both times in Congo with small children clutching each other as bombs exploded nearby.

During my first communion class Father Kilpatrick insisted “Thou shall not kill” had no exceptions. One of my little classmates asked, “What about the policeman who kills a bad man?” Father Kilpatrick answered, “The policeman is taking that sin onto his soul for us; this is why we need to be grateful to the police.”

How could we drop 50,000 bombs, without expecting thousands of collateral deaths like these? Most agree with Father Kilpatrick about the need for gratitude to those who make morally brutal decisions to advance our collective safety. In a democracy, how can we assess if those who chose to undertake the war in Iraq deserve our gratitude or condemnation, especially when they will not discuss the collateral damage they induced or by what measure they think we are now safer?