February 2007 – We recently transported one soldier who was intubated, but still alert during the flight. He asked me for a pen and paper. He asked if he was going to die. He asked us to please not let him die. I’m not giving out paper anymore.

April 2011 – While I was packaging my patient in the ICU for the flight to Germany, I noticed giant tears rolling down his face. Ten feet from us an American flag was being draped over a young soldier’s body. I followed other staff members into the ER. We all lined up at attention and gave this young soldier a salute as his lifeless body was wheeled by us. I can’t begin to describe what I was feeling at that moment. I felt like he was there, crying with the rest of us because his life was taken much too soon.

I have the best job in the Air Force. It’s not a pretty job and I’ll never be the same person I was before I left for my first deployment. I’ve seen how war has scarred lives in more ways than any of us will ever be able to comprehend. It has ruined a part of me too, deep inside, but I will continue to do it because it is the most rewarding experience I will have in this lifetime.